Our famous Udurawana was attending a conference in London. He was flying for the first time. Here are some incidents which took place during that trip.

GETTING ON

At Katunayake airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to board the plane. A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted "Oh, I lost my balance!" and the moving got slowed down a bit. Udurawana was at the bottom of the steps anxiously waiting to get in to the plane for the first time and he shouted, "Doesn't matter you fool, I have enough coins in my pocket. I'll give you some later"

EMBARKATION CARD

When it was closer to London, Passengers were given the embarkation card to fill. Udurawana started filling.

Full Name: Heen Banda Udurawana
Sex: Ticked the Female Box and wrote below: unlike these foreigners, we always have sex with females!

GETTING OFF

Getting off finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow. Udurawana was excited and anxious to get off. So he went to the door before anyone, and prepared to jump down. "Wait sir, Wait" cried an air hostess. "75 Kilograms" replied Udurawana and jumped off the plane!

HURT

Seeing Udurawana jump off the plane, an airport worker came running to his aid. "Sir, Are you hurt? " he asked, helping Udurawanna to stand up. "No, I am not Hurt. I am Udurawana" he replied.

IN THE HOSPITAL

In the Hospital After his jump from the plane, Udurawana was taken to a doctor to be treated for minor injuries. While awaiting his turn for treatment, Udurawana smiled with an old Englishman sitting next to him.
"Hello" said the Englishman " I'm suffering from Influenza" "Hello" replied Udurawana. " I'm Udurawana from Sri Lanka" The Englishman confused, said "I mean my Influenza... came from Catarrh". I know, I know replied Udurawana. "Though I say Sri Lanka, I am actually  from Kandy."

CONFERENCE

Conference proceedings 1
Fortunately, the injuries were not serious and Udurawana was able to participate in the conference. The Chairperson said "Mr. Udurawana from Sri Lanka will now address you !" Udurawana rose from his seat, and said: "Udurawana Walawwa No. 29, Ranawana Road, Katugastota, Kandy, Sri Lanka."

Conference proceedings 2
When Udurawana announced his postal address to the audience, his Secretary came for assistance. "That is not what you are supposed to do, Sir", he said, giving him a five-page written-speech. "You are supposed to speak to them. Please read this speech to them!" Udurawana started reading aloud. Other than for a few mistakes in pronouncing, things were okay for a few minutes. Then, suddenly, Udurawana shouted: " Patto!"

The audience got a bit excited, but Udurawana continued to read as if nothing happened. After another few minutes, another loud "Patto!" was heard. Udurawana's secretary wanted to find out the reason for this, so he carefully followed the written speech. And he found that..... UDURAWANA WAS READING THE 'P.T.O.' AS PATTO!

LUNCH BREAK

During the conference lunch break, Udurawana dropped in at a restaurant with an English friend. The friend ordered a Fanta and our Udurawana ordered a Coke. The Suddah friend sipped the Fanta and said, "Aaah..... Fantastic...."

Our friend Udurawana sipped the Coke and yelled, "Aaaaaaah.....Cockastic...."

TENNIS

Udurawana went to play tennis with another delegate. He was playing after some time and most of his shots ended up hitting the net. The opponent shouted " Hey mate, your balls are too low ! " Udurawana replied " Don't you know these Sri Lankan Velona underwears!, must go to M.C and buy some good crocodile ones ! ".

AT THE BAR

It was a chilly day and as he wanted to warm himself up, he went to a PUB. He saw two Englishmen sitting near the counter and joined them. The first Englishmen said to the bar man "JOHNNY WALKER, single" The Bar man served him. The second Englishmen said "JACK DANIEL, single". The Bar man served him too. Now it was Udurawana's turn and he said: "HEEN BANDA UDURAWANA, MARRIED" !!!

Please send your Udurawana stories to us at 3Sinhala@gmail.com or Post them in the Forum.